The Perfect Lover

Passion, love, lust and physical perfection -  What is there not to like? - This is the stuff that keeps us reading romance novels and drooling over the main characters.


For spicy conflict, the story line includes road blocks, hesitation, tantalizing visuals and the unavoidable stunted emotional growth of one or more of the characters.


The happy ending usually involves improved communication, uncovered facts and compromise.


Ah! the perfect love affair! - Twisted, tangled, sexy, and above all: Complex.  It is impossible to write a perfect love story without drama and trauma, not because it does not exist, but because it is just not as appealing without it. In fact, it is boring.  


What does the perfect lover have to do with a political blog? - Plenty.  


Since we elected President Obama we have seen people swooning when he gives that devastatingly open smile.  Yes, smiles like that are incredibly sexy.  No argument here.

We have swooned when he looks into Mrs. Obama's eyes and get the sense of people who truly love and are committed to each other.  Yes, loving your partner is incredibly sexy.



In romance novels, the male lead is the strong, silent type that is also tall, dark and handsome.   He remains cool under pressure and is the voice of reason in a storm of screaming banshees. - Sexy as hell, I tell ya.  


Amazingly enough, President Obama resembles those remarks, and so does First Lady, Michelle Obama. Why is this not enough for us? When have we ever experienced this in the past? 

*Don't get me started on how sexy it is for a man to be such a devoted and protective dad, because we will be here all night*  -  Real family values are incredibly sexy.


In our entire political history, we have not had this kind of experience until now, and frankly, it is sizzling hot from almost any perspective. 


Historians are salivating, political pundits are having tingles up their collective legs, and the vast majority of Americans can see a part of themselves represented in the current administration.  


As women, minorities, gays or lesbians, poor and middle class, we are not sitting in the back of the bus anymore and that, is incredibly sexy. - But for some,  it is not enough. Not good enough. Not fast enough. 


Or is it? - Is it all it can be given the circumstances? in fact, is it MORE than it would have been with another administration? Thinking in real terms and real life: McCain/Palin.


Will things be better, faster and more perfect with another? - if so, please leave us a note in the comments section of who would be better and why, but please,  base your commentary on reality, not fictitious characters or people who are not running for office.


In fantasy novels there is always another tantalizing possibility that pulls the reader into considering other options.  - This is always fun - In the harsh light of reality, we need to consider our available options and be objective about it.


When a novel is finished, no harm has been done but reality carries consequences and we can't stress enough times the disastrous consequences of the defective and ineffective Congress we elected.


The State of the Union Address (POST 2)


The State of The Union address brings out the best and worst in people.  It does not matter what President Obama says or does, it is never enough, not fast enough, not good enough.  


Our social streams last night confirmed this.  Some gushed over how strong the speech was and how President Obama now resembled the Obama they voted for.  Others thought it was boring and had heard it all before.  Yet others complained loudly about solutions offered and remained silent on those they agreed with.


This is not an unusual mix of commentary in social media, it is actually rather predictable.  We seem to project all our hopes and fears into this one man.  Those who have been burned by love before choose to attack first.  Those reeling from the Bush years won't give President Obama a "well done" before condemning something on their next breath. And then there are those of us who look beyond what was proposed and attempt to see far-reaching consequences.


For instance, someone last night ridiculed taking away tax payer support for universities that keep raising tuition.  They saw this as a failure to keep cost down.  - Some of us see it as a step to nationalized  paid higher education. (You know, like in really progressive, industrialized countries - where no one graduates with debt, is well informed and a productive member of society) -  Time will tell. We are watching.


Check out these familiar past and present commentaries. (POST 3)

• He is against gays. He eliminated Don't Ask, Don't Tell and won't support the Defense of Marriage Act. - What else do they want? a kiss on the lips?
• He has not done anything for seniors and disabled.  He cut prescription cost by 50% and funded education for persons with disabilities Act - Over 12 Billion dollars - The Donut Hole in Medicare has been reduced and will be gone by 2013 - Not enough? 
• He has not done enough to keep us safe. Osama Bin Laden and Somali pirates are old news.
• He did not get us National Health Care - We don't need to look at the fact that our teenagers will continue on our medical plan while attending college, or that mom won't be denied chemotherapy for having a pre-existing condition, or that insurance companies have to refund us payments if they don't spend 80% of it on our health care. - Not enough? Don't worry, this was only the 1st step in a series of moves.  More to come. 

Even though there is a lot more on the health care subject that benefits the average American directly and almost immediately, recognition and praise are rarely given.  


Has President Obama done anything else? - the answer is yes, but for those who are consistently nursing a sense of disappointment, the answer is 'no'.  They are at their loudest when they disagree and completely mute on positive changes.  This is not President Obama's shortcoming, instead it is very telling on who we are as people.


Remember this? (POST 4)


When the Sand Tar Pipeline was on the news, the bashing of President Obama was relentless.  He was called a "tool of the oil industry" and far worse that won't be printed here.  When he vetoed the pipeline, those same people moved on to complain about something else.  It is just not enough for them.


When Don't Ask, Don't Tell was in process, the voices attacked;  "he lied" "he promised" "how about now?" "Can't trust him" "he is like any other politician" ... When Don't Ask, Don't Tell was repealed, the same people moved on to another issue.  No apologies, no "I was wrong, impatient, misinformed" - No, none of that. *crickets*


Vilifying President Obama has become a national sport for some and an emotional crutch for others.  There are some of us who will never agree with some of his positions on certain issues, but are able to put things into perspective.  We don't sweep under the rug all the positive things that have been accomplished, nor do we take them for granted.  


It could be because we think before we speak.  We think before we act.  We force ourselves to look at the big picture when the field of vision is narrow.  We change our positions on issues when we get more information and we are willing to compromise for the good of the many, even when it is personally inconvenient.


We also see our reflections in the mirror and are brutally honest about our own short-comings.  When we are not, we are lucky enough to have real friends and family members who will pull us off the clouds and back into reality. (Gosh Darn, these people!)


The list of achievements for President Obama in the past three years is rather impressive.  If we look at the past administration, can we come up with a list that is as impressive? No? how about a list of 10 things that benefited the poor or middle class directly? just 10 - can we?


Let's look at others: Reagan, Carter, Bush Sr., Clinton, Eisenhower... ? Did they do enough? Fast enough? Good enough? - How do they compare to our current administration and the level of antagonism and obstructionism encountered at every turn?


- The perfect lover, just like the perfect president,  exists only in our imaginations - 


A House of Bricks (POST 5)


New homeowners in their love nest are happy to  make decisions about furniture placement, wall color and decor, but very few give a second thought about the quality of the concrete, the sturdiness of the studs or the thousands of nails that it took to make the structure solid and stable.


We are seeing the framing of our collective house now.  It is a construction project in process and there is nothing sexy about it. In fact, it is rather disgusting.


There are nails on the ground, workers coming and going, dirt everywhere, sweat, labor and a home owner's association that wants things their way or the highway.  And yet, the workers keep plowing away so we can have the house we deserve and paid for.  The house may not be big enough now, but if the structure is solid, we can always add to it later. (Health care for all)  


Just like romance, building a house requires that at some point we deal with mundane situations.  We have to roll up our sleeves and help our partner carry the load and mix the concrete.


Pitching-in is highly recommended, bitching about the work involved is not helpful.






 *As usual your comments are more than welcome, but personal attacks will not be posted. We understand it allows for a release of emotional distress, but we do not indulge racist commentary or hate talk. We have professionals for that.




Lovers image by: Dynamite Imagery / FreeDigitalPhotos.net