Tuesday, May 8, 2012

In Support of Same-Sex Marriage

Dear Ultra-Conservative Co-worker and Relative:

It is nearly impossible to go a day without hearing you spouting venomously about "the gay agenda."

From what we gather between your twitching and foaming, is that the gay agenda creates many problems for 'normal' people and we, the heteros, must be ultra-vigilant to ensure that our way of life is not destroyed by the gays' nefarious plans.

This is what we have learned from you, since you repeat yourself like a stuck vinyl record. It will also explain why co-workers and relatives spend as little time with you as possible.

Evangelical Pastor: Ted Haggard
* All Gay people reside in San Francisco.
* When the Apocalypse comes, California and the gays are going straight to hell.
* Gayness is a sin/Abomination.
* Religious marriages are real and legal. 
* All Gay people are liberal.
* There are no gay Republican Christians.
* Two women kissing is really hot.
* Two guys kissing makes you sick. Unless you are a woman.
* Traditional marriage will be destroyed.
* It is all Obama's fault.

According to you, we must do the following:
* Ensure gays remain in the closet.
* Continue to refer to uncle Steve as a "confirmed bachelor"
* Continue to refer to your single 39 year-old daughter as career-oriented and her female friend of 15 years as her 'roommate'
* Use prayer, physical and verbal abuse to cure gayness.
* Blame Obama.

See? We have listened to you.  

Reality Check

Marriage is a legal contract in EVERY State. A religious ceremony is a nice little expense of pomp and circumstance, but it is not legal.

Gay people exist, have needs, wants and desires like their heterosexual counterparts.  They want to raise families, live openly and freely. They want to  enter into the same legal contracts afforded to everyone else and for the rest of us to mind our own business.  We fully support this agenda.

A same-sex union is NOT the same as marriage.  Legally, partners are NOT entitled to Social Security and other major benefits.  Life insurance policies and pension plans can be contested by blood relatives who have shunned the couple for decades. The tax rate is higher.  All this is wrong.

Marriage is a word we use to identify our legal standing when it comes to property rights and benefits. Heteros DO NOT own the word. Deal with it.

Same Sex Marriage Countries
* Canada legalized same-sex marriage in 2005 and heterosexual marriages did not suffer because of it.

* Belgium, Spain, Iceland, The Netherlands, Portugal, South Africa, Sweden, Argentina and parts of Mexico and Brazil have not experienced any harmful after-effects from having legalized gay marriage. Neither have the few States in the USA.They are all doing fine.

* Over 50% of heterosexual marriages in the United States end in divorce. Second and third marriages have higher rates. Since traditional marriage seems to be a hit or miss thing for us, maybe we need to let the gays have a shot at it. They can't do much worse.

1 comment:

RK_NY said...

Nice article.. Too bad the "righteous" amongst us cannot open their hearts and minds to the very logical truth that stares them in the face.. But, maybe that's it.. maybe they are simply afraid... of truth, of fact, of acceptance, of understanding.. If the righteous truly acted out the Bible in it's literal sense, earth's population would be a whole lot less.

Look forward to more of your writings..