Wednesday, May 30, 2012

People Say: Mitt Romney is a Polygamist

We thought the birther issue was laid to rest with President Obama's birth certificate. Both the short and long form are easily available on the internet.

Some circles of people refuse to believe the facts and cling desperately to the notion that a black man can't possibly be a "real American" - Or as Romney calls it, "A real Amercian."

Donald Trump is king among these circles and he recently stated on CNN to Wolf(y):  "I don't give names, there are people out there who are saying lots of things." 

 In light of the fact that Mitt Romney has not protested Donald Trump's birther nonsense, has not shown a backbone to stand up to Ted Nugent or Bryan Fischer (talk show radio host who forced him to fire his gay employee), we are starting a series of articles about conspiracy theories and rumors surrounding Donald Trump and Mitt Romney.

It is our understanding that anyone who staunchly hangs on to birther conspiracies in spite of the facts  has the capacity and intellect to absorb a few more. After all, "people say..." is king among the offensive and insulting theories mass-produced about President Obama.

More than one can play this game and turn about is fair play.

The rumor that Mitt Romney is a polygamist started about five seconds ago.

These are the facts and factoids that make it impossible to deny that Mitt Romney is a polygamist.

* His great-granddaddy had five wives.

* He was raised in that environment. (word on the street is that his REAL birth certificate is in Spanish)

* Mitt, they say, is Mexican for polygamist.

* His "relatives" in Mexico are "closely related" (make what you will of this. That's the word)

* On St. Patrick's Day in 2005 and 2006 (Don Imus radio show) he made the same "joke": "I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman... and a woman... and a woman..." (this is true)

* A whole bunch of kids call him "uncle" *wink, wink* - in Mexico, they call him papi.

* Mexican illegal worker, Mitt's cousin, said that the existing renovation on the California house includes extra closets for the sister-wives.

* The garage elevator is for the sister-wives station wagons.

* So far, they have all lived in separate houses like "Big Love" but in different states to fool people into thinking that the blonde he is with is his first wife.

(Of course, these living arrangements are the reason why Mitt Romney had to commit voter fraud. He does not have a sister-wive in Massachusetts and pretended to live in his son's unfinished basement.)

* Mitt Romney has not been employed for the past 10 years because he has been hard at work developing the language of the new law of the land with the Church Elders. The rumor is that if Romney becomes president, all Amercians will be baptized into the Latter-Day Saints Church and expected to enter into plural, legal marriages. Women will be required to dress appropriately (see top picture)

* Some say that Mitt Romney's FaceBook profile said: "Married but available" before it was scrubbed clean.

The word on the street, some people say, is that Romney has ordered super-dooper, double-secret blueprints of the White House for additional bedrooms to be built in the residence portion of the building. He has renamed it "The Compound."

If that does not smack of polygamy, we don't know what does.

Stay tuned for tomorrow when we "interview" Willard Mitt Romney.

Gross People:

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